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Post by Phoenix on Jul 12, 2007 9:34:42 GMT -5
Okay...I'm bringing this thread over from KFM!! XD ;D You guys know what to do...  |
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Post by Ambika on Jul 12, 2007 9:38:17 GMT -5
Here's one:
T3: "Scooby dooby doo!"
Vrook: GROUP HUG!
HK: "Sheepish admission: When I kill enough people within a certain timeframe, I get a tingly feeling. Down there."
I will post some more...
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Post by Ambika on Jul 12, 2007 15:40:15 GMT -5
Right..... More from Ambika's stupid mind: HK-47: Activating... Revan: He seems alright... Malak: Hope he doesn't go crazy all of a sudden. Revan: Don't worry. HK-47: Query: Why is the tall man bald? Malak: What do you mean bald, you piece of junk, I'll... Revan: Calm down... he's still processing... Malak: He'd better be. HK-47: Statement: Hello, my name is HK-47. How may I serve? Is there someone you need to kill master? Revan: Not at the moment, unless you could get rid of some of my useless soldiers that are standing there all day in front of the coffee machine! HK-47: Query: May I be equipped with a rifle? Revan: How bout a rocket launcher? HK-47: Sounds great, the more flames the more meatbags burn to hell. Malak: Seems to be working fine. HK-47: Statement: My functions are at 100%, but why are you here? You are not my master? If you touch my circuits I'll use my mounted flame thrower to crisp that shiny head of yours! Malak: That's ENOUGH! I can't take it anymore Revan. Disable this thing before I slice his memory core with my lightsaber.... *Later...* HK-47: Happy statement: Hello, you useless bunch of idiots, I've come to take the garbage out. Employee 1: What do you mean garbage? Get outta here you pile of metal. HK-47: Angry statement: This unit doesn't enjoy insults. I have been programed to terminate all meatbags in this area. And you are meatbags, standing there doing nothing besides playing cards. Perhaps we could heat up the engines by tossing your worthless bodies in them. Employee 1: *at Employee 2* Hey you! Come here! Help me get rid of this droid! HK-47: Resistance? You humans do not understand. There is no resistance. Employee 2: BLAST HIM!!! HK-47: Finally I can test my assassination protocols. *HK blasts the two freaks and drags them until the garbage deposit onboard the ship* HK-47: Query: Would you like some more coffee before you fly into the next asteroid field? Employee 1&2: Ugh... what the? AAAHHH!!!! HK-47: Statement: The coffee has terminated. Sorry. *HK throws the two into deep space* *HK returns back to Revan and Malak* HK-47: Statement: Here you go master. The garbage has been wasted. Now, would you like me to dispose of the bald one? Revan: Maybe another time... thank you HK! HK-47: Closing statement: Always a pleasure to crush meatbags. But next time, no coffee, it makes me nervous! I feel stupid... and I don't know what got into me  |
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Post by jedigirl on Aug 21, 2007 20:57:09 GMT -5
Malak: Oh no! Something very bad has happened....
Revan: What is it, Malak?
Malak: The coffee machines broken down! Again! AND I HAVEN'T HAD MY MORNING COFFEE! You know how cranky I get without it!
Revan: Yeah, I should know. The last time, you blew up Kashykk...
Malak: I know. But those wookies deserve it! They're hairy and ugly and...
HK: Statement: How are you doing, meatbags?
Revan: Not now, HK, Malak hasn't had his morning coffee...
HK: Angry Statement: Oh, for heavens sake, you filthy meatbag! Can't you just deal with it? It's just coffee! It's not like you're going to get so angry you'll blow up a planet or something!
Revan: I wouldn't be so sure of that, HK...
Employee: Hey, where did Kashykk go on the map?
Revan: It's been gone since yesterday morning.
Emplyee: You mean the coffee machine hasn't been fixed yet?
Revan: No.
Malak: I NEED THAT COFFEE! HK, how good are you at fixing things?
HK: Answer: Not very good, Master. Don't you remember the other coffee machine?
Malak: No.
HK: Statement: I'm not surprised. With the short-term memory of a meatbag, you idiots don't remember anything. Would you like some coffee?
Malak: You mean you've had some all this time?
HK: Yes, I just enjoy seeing you fret.
Malak: Why, you...
Employee: Malak, we've got a serious mass of ships coming in for the attack. We need people at the turrets, like, NOW!
Malak: Not quite yet, I still have to have my morning coffee. How about afterwards?
Employee: No, NOW!
Malak: Okay, fine, but we'll work out you're punishment later. How about dropping you off on Manaan afterwards?
Employee: Okay, what's so bad about that.
Malak: You don't understand. I haven't had my morning coffee yet, and we're closest to Manaan.
*Malak then laughs evilly and goes to his designated turret*
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Post by Phoenix on Aug 21, 2007 21:00:36 GMT -5
Malak: Oh no! Something very bad has happened.... Revan: What is it, Malak? Malak: The coffee machines broken down! Again! AND I HAVEN'T HAD MY MORNING COFFEE! You know how cranky I get without it! Revan: Yeah, I should know. The last time, you blew up Kashykk... Malak: I know. But those wookies deserve it! They're hairy and ugly and... HK: Statement: How are you doing, meatbags? Revan: Not now, HK, Malak hasn't had his morning coffee... HK: Angry Statement: Oh, for heavens sake, you filthy meatbag! Can't you just deal with it? It's just coffee! It's not like you're going to get so angry you'll blow up a planet or something! Revan: I wouldn't be so sure of that, HK... Employee: Hey, where did Kashykk go on the map? Revan: It's been gone since yesterday morning. Emplyee: You mean the coffee machine hasn't been fixed yet? Revan: No. Malak: I NEED THAT COFFEE! HK, how good are you at fixing things? HK: Answer: Not very good, Master. Don't you remember the other coffee machine? Malak: No. HK: Statement: I'm not surprised. With the short-term memory of a meatbag, you idiots don't remember anything. Would you like some coffee? Malak: You mean you've had some all this time? HK: Yes, I just enjoy seeing you fret. Malak: Why, you... Employee: Malak, we've got a serious mass of ships coming in for the attack. We need people at the turrets, like, NOW! Malak: Not quite yet, I still have to have my morning coffee. How about afterwards? Employee: No, NOW! Malak: Okay, fine, but we'll work out you're punishment later. How about dropping you off on Manaan afterwards? Employee: Okay, what's so bad about that. Malak: You don't understand. I haven't had my morning coffee yet, and we're closest to Manaan. *Malak then laughs evilly and goes to his designated turret* Lmao. Nice one Jedigirl! ;D 
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Post by jedigirl on Aug 21, 2007 21:03:09 GMT -5
Thanx, it's my first, but It's kind of easy..just make a fool out of the evil characters!
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Post by Phoenix on Aug 21, 2007 21:06:23 GMT -5
Yeah. Pretty easy. I mean, it is Malak...XD And he's pretty easy to make a fool out of. =3
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Post by Siri Tachi on Aug 21, 2007 21:07:36 GMT -5
Malak: Aaah, that coffee was much needed. Now that I am relaxed, I need to have some peace and quiet to keep it that way. Where is my masseuse? My manicurist and pedicurist? My facialist? This body is hard to keep beautiful!
Revan: Their on vacation, Malak *whispers* or hiding... *whispers*
Malak: HK!! Come here. I didn't put you through Beauty school for nothing.
HK: Sarcastic Statement: Oh, Malak, you know how much I love to beautify your *coughhopelesscough* face.
Revan: This is ridiculous! You're not supposed to be having spa days... you're supposed to be ruling the universe!
Malak: Okay, I'll just blow up a planet or two and I'll be all square. But before that I'm going to need some dainty teacakes to heighten my energy level.
*Revan shakes head*
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Post by Phoenix on Aug 21, 2007 21:12:56 GMT -5
Heres a few of mine:
Sion: I need moisterizer.
Exile: THERE'S A FRIGGEN SPOON!*
**(Matrix parody...Don't ask. >.>)
Bastila: *Silence.*
(...Don't kill me for that one you guys!! *Runs away and hides.* )
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Post by jedigirl on Aug 22, 2007 9:52:26 GMT -5
Malak: *sigh* There's no ship or planet to destroy in sight.
Revan: There's always those useless employees.
Malak: That's right. Hey, you, get over here!
*A nervous employee walks over to Malak and gets sliced in half*
Malak: Ah, that feels better.... Now, there's only one thing that'll make me feel alot better....
Revan: And what's that?
Malak: COFFEE!
Revan: Oh no...
Malak: What do you mean, "oh no?"
Revan: It's just that... the machine hasn't been fixed yet.
Malak: WHAT?
Hk: Statement: I have no idea why meatbags rely on coffee to keep going. All they need is one long whiff of Bantha Fodder, and they're good for the day.
Revan: Hk, you're not helping.
Malak: I WANT THAT COFFEE!
Revan: (in panicked voice) Okay, okay! *over intercom* Coffee in Malak Headquarters! I repeat, Coffee in Malak headquarters!
Malak: 3
*Thundering footsteps in the distance*
Malak: 2
*Much closer thundering footsteps in the distance*
Malak: 1
*An out of breath employee hands Malak a coffee cup:
Malak: What took you so long?
Employee: Oh, you know how long it takes for people to make coffee these days.
Revan: Hey, have you dropped that one employee off at Manaan yet?
Malak: Ofcourse I have! *all of a sudden, Malak bursts out crying*
Revan: Um... Malak, if people see you like this...
Malak: I don't care! Today's my birthday, and what I ordered never came!
Revan: What exactly did you order?
Malak: *sniff sniff* I ordered some party stuff from the Birthday Express magazine!
Revan: Oh no.....
Malak: Oh yes! AND IT NEVER EVEN CAME!
Hk: Confused Statement: Excuse me, meatbag, but adding on to meatbags having such short term memory loss, they also seem to ramble on without making any sense. What never came?
Malak: The.... the......
Revan: The... gosh, it's almost as painful for me to say it as it is HIM!
Malak: *whisper* the....the barbie balloons... *whisper*
Hk: Confused Statement: So you're saying the ruler of the galaxy likes barbie?
*malak nods head*
Revan: He's hopeless. Entirely hopeless.
Malak: Revan, I haven't had a sip of my morning coffee yet... and oh, look! there's a planet, right there!
Revan: Did I say hopeless? I meant handsome and totally smart. I must have been rambling nonsense!
HK: Statement: I rest my case. Goodbye
Malak: No! I have an idea!
* Some time later, HK appears in a barbie ballon costume*
HK: Angry Statement: Malak, if I'm ever freed of this torture, I'm going to blast your brains into space and spatter your guts all over the galaxy!
Malak: Well, that hasn't happened yet, so for now I need you to pretend to be barbie.
HK: Angry Statement: Hi! I'm barbie! And I've come to kill you all! *Takes out blaster*
*Revan shuts him off*
Revan: we've got a problem on our hands, sir.
Malak: We sure do! Look at this balloon... it has KEN on it! I said BARBIE! AND it didn't come with the barbie doll, like the magazine said it would!
Revan: *sigh*
Malak: Wait, Revan.....
Revan: (worridly) no no no no NO!
Malak: If you wish to live, yes yes yes yes YES!
Revan: *sigh* fine.
*Some Time later, Revan is transformed into a human sized barbie doll*
Revan: *sniff sniff* What has my life come to?
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Post by Siri Tachi on Aug 22, 2007 13:25:32 GMT -5
Malak: *sigh* Will you ever get it right? Revan, your skirt is the wrong color! I specifically asked for hot pink, and you came here with a magenta skirt on!
Revan: DOES IT MATTER WHAT SKIRT I WEAR? EITHER WAY I LOOK LIKE AN IDIOT!
Malak: You do not look like an idiot. You look like Barbie. Aaah, memories... I remember my 20th birthday party. Barbie balloons were everywhere and my cake had Barbie on it too!
*Reven throws something to get his anger out and hits HK's on switch*
HK: Irritated statement: How could you turn me off at a time like this? I wanted to see Revan make a fool out of himself. *pauses* I mean see the birthday cake.
Malak: Aaaaah yes, the birthday cake! *claps hands* I need my cake! Someone fetch it for me. I put it in the freezer in the staff lounge next to the pool table.
Reven: I, uh, have to, uh, do something... *runs like mad out of the room*
*laughter in the distance*
Reven: OH SHUT UP!!
HK: Annoyed Statement: These meat bags need to learn to control their tempers.
*5 minutes later*
HK: HAHA! *blasts gun at the barbie balloons* FINALLY!
*1 hour later*
*Malak comes back into room: NOO!!! *sniff* My Barbie balloons are gone.
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Post by jedigirl on Aug 22, 2007 13:26:08 GMT -5
Revan: Oh, it's such a relief to be out of that dumb little barbie cocktail dress......
Malak: Shush!
Revan: Wha-
Malak: SHUSH!
*Music playing in the background*
Malak: THE ICE CREAM SPEEDER IS HERE!
Revan: Are you serious? I mean-now is not the time for ice-cream....
Malak: Of course it is! I haven't had cake or ice cream yet! Let's go!
Revan: Malak....
Malak: REVAN!
Revan: Okay, okay...
HK: Meatbag, I would like to come along, also. The word is that they have free oil baths!
Revan: Goodness. I never knew that when I joined forces with Malak, his crew was so...... so.....
HK: Meatbaggish?
Revan: Well, yeah....
Malak: MOM! I'M GOING TO THE ICE CREAM SPEEDER!
Mom: OKAY! BRING ME BACK SOMETHING GOOD!
Malak: OKAY! Now, let's go before my mother decides not to let me go!
Employee#1 whispering to Employee #2: Wow, this great sith guy still gets permission from his mother?
Employee#2: Ha, and he calls us fools.
Malak: ooh, ooh, ooh! It's my favorite song of all! Siri had a little bantha!
Revan: Malak, Malak, Malak. You must focus on the better songs in life... You know, like the hit ones sung by The Force. Like.... hmm...
Malak: Oh, you mean those dumb songs sung by those people with pink and green mohawks?
Revan: Yeah, that's the one.
Malak: My mom thinks that that band is to graphic for me, so I should stick to Siri had a little Bantha.
Revan: Oh yeah, and sticking a sword through someone and having blood flying everywhere isn't?
Malak: My mother considers that good training for when I'm old like her.
Revan: Okay. Anyway, I'll have one triple choco choco chip chip minty minty marshmellow cone, please.
Malak: I'll have a triple choco choco chip chip minty minty marshmellow, also.
HK: Cheerful Statement: And I'll have a free oil bath!
Ice Cream Person: I'm sorry, we don't have oil baths.
HK: Angry Statement: Then prepare to DIE!
*Takes out blaster and shoots him*
Malak: HK! I DIDN'T GET MY TRIPLE CHOCO CHOCO CHIP CHIP MINTY MINTY MARSHMELLOW CONE YET!
HK: Statement: Dude, he's DEAD! Take what you want and GO!
Revan: You know, he's the first person I've ever seen who doesn't tremble at the sight of you!
Malak: That's because he's my Uncle Earl. And besides, why would I want to hurt the Ice Cream Speeder person?
Revan: Good Point...
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Post by jedigirl on Aug 22, 2007 13:31:48 GMT -5
lol, nice one, siritachi!
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Post by Siri Tachi on Aug 22, 2007 13:34:53 GMT -5
Thanks!
Yours was HILARIOUS! xD
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Post by jedigirl on Aug 22, 2007 13:48:52 GMT -5
Malak: Revan, get into these open arms! I love you!
Revan: Wha-? no... no...NO!!!!
Malak: I love ya! *Kisses Revan on the cheek*
Revan: You're crazy! You're crazy!
Malak: Oh, I'm not crazy!
Revan: Yes you are! Yes you are!
HK: Angry statement: You blasted idiot! You're evil! You're not supposed to love!
Malak: HK, I thought I'd never say this... I love you!
*Makes a move to hug HK*
*HK pulls out his blaster*
HK: Make one more move and you'll be blasted, you idiotic meatbag.
Malak: Oh no! I can't be blasted!
Revan: Then don't go up and hug random people!
Malak: Why, thank you, Revan, that's a GREAT idea! Hey, you, employee! Over here!
*Employee walks nervously up to Malak and gets a hug*
Malak: All staff is invited to a sleepover in Malak's Headquarters! Don't forget your Jammies!
HK: Worried Statement: Am I part of the staff?
Malak: Oh, are you worried about not being invited? Why, you can come! In fact, I insist!
HK: Make me come and I'm blasting your brains into space and spatter your guts all over the galaxy!
Malak: Now why does that sound familiar?
Carth: MALAK! I LOVE YOU!
*In slow motion, Carth and Malak run at eachother with open arms*
HK: You blasted meatbag, you look like an idiot running in slow motion!
Carth: HK, let us have a moment, won't you?
Bastila: Hey, Malak, over here!
Malak: H-H-H-
Carth: *whispers* Her name is Bastila, and I believe the word you are searching for is "Hi"
Malak: Hi, Lastiba. I mean, Bastila.
*In fast moment motion, Bastila and Malak run at eachother and start hugging like it's the end of the world*
Malak: I thought I would never see you again, my love.
Bastila: I have the wedding invitations!
Revan: I'm afraid I can't let you do that, ma'am.
Carth: Hey, don't go messing around with other peoples love lives! Now, Malak, she's MINE!
Malak: LAY OFF OF HER!
Carth: SHE'S MINE!
Bastila: Boys, boys, stop-wait, no keep going.
Malak: Come here, baby!
*Bastila and Malak start making out right in front of Carth*
Carth: You little-
Revan: Hey, Carth, there's a broken down Pie speeder out back... whaddya say?
Carth: I say... YES!
*Carth and Revan pick up a bunch of pies and start throwing them and Bastila and Malak*
HK: Does this mean I get to join in on the fun?
Revan: No.
HK: Angry Statement: Will you ever have me kill anyone?
Revan: Well, that Employee over there is slacking.
Hk: Happy Statement: Yes, sir!
*HK then blasts him and shoves into bastila's and malak's mouths.*
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[A:3]
