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Post by Ambika on Oct 21, 2007 17:28:05 GMT -5
hehe xD
Any Czerka Representative: All Day Clearance Sale! Free toaster with purchases over 25 credits- and all proceeds go to charity!
Revan: I want to know some more about you Carth Carth: Really? Wow...gosh, I mean, wow, where to start...
Vrook: What... a party? And I wasn’t invited? Don’t people think I’m cuddly and fun to be with? Kavar said they called me the “Swingin’ Jedi Master”...
HK-47: Protest: Oh Master, must we? Couldn't you stop the killing once in a while and learn to appreciate the beauty of nature as I have? Ahhh, just listen to the sound of the cute little flying meatbags as they swoop from the golden sky and make nests in the lushious trees, gently swaying in the warm summer breeze, the sound a delectable lullaby upon my audio receptors - it fills me with such a warm and fuzzy glow...
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Post by Phoenix on Oct 21, 2007 17:52:06 GMT -5
Nihilus:* Speaks in garbled, whatever the hell language he speaks in.* Translation: ...Can anyone *actually* understand what the hell I'm saying?!?
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Post by Ambika on Oct 21, 2007 17:55:20 GMT -5
Harbinger Captain: But sir, I feel I must raise an issue about our new Protocol Droid. Adm. Onasi: Go ahead Captain. Captain: Well he's like no Protocol Droid I've known sir, he looks threatening, seems to be worrying un-camp, all our other droids have mysteriously self-destructed since he's been here and our previous Maintainance Officer told me that the droid inadvertadely let slip that the HK in the droid's name stood for "Hunter Killer" and that his Progenitor unit was named after a cross between a famous Hitman, a German weapons manufacturer and a Russian Assault Rifle... Adm. Onasi: ..."Previous" Maintainace Officer, Captain? Captain: We found him the following day in the Trash Compactor, sir, looked like a terrible accident. We asked the Protocol Droid what he knew and he denied everything. Adm. Onasi: Well I don't know about any Protocol Droids called HK or whatever, so I wouldn't worry about it Captain. Just make sure your passanger makes it safely to Telos, okay? I mean, your on a Republic Cruiser, so far out on the Outer Rim you may as well be in the Unknown Regions, without any escort, carrying the last remaining Jedi in the entire universe. What could possibly go wrong? Captain: But sir I don't think- Adm. Onasi: Hey, the Republic doesn't pay you to think! It pays you to follow orders! Like me - I didn't stop to think, I followed my orders, and look where it got me - Admiral! Captain: But- Adm. Onasi: Admiral, Captain, ADMIRAL! Captain: ...Yes sir...
Vogga: Bring me the ugliest dancer you can find. *Vrook walks in wearing the dancer's outfit* Vrook: I was sent to dance for you, great Vogga. Vogga: Well, go ahead *Vrook dances* Vogga: That was the best dancing I've ever seen. It was even better than the Exile's.
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Post by Phoenix on Oct 21, 2007 17:58:01 GMT -5
XD! LMAO! Nice Ambika!
Jolee: Amazingly..Im out of stories to tell....*Does happy dance.*
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Post by Ambika on Oct 21, 2007 18:00:48 GMT -5
Kreia: I do not approve with this alliance with Chodo Habat and the Ithorians. Exile: Why is that Kreia? Atton: Hey you know what, I actually agree with Kreia on this one! Exile: You...do? Kreia: Fool, I haven't even explained why yet! Atton: Naah, I mean, it's just the way they talk - they drone on and on and on - I mean, I don't actually know what they're saying half the time, but they just sound so...urgh, so irritating! All that iddykuftfa-fafa-oobian-poofta-binglybinglybooomdidiboomdidi-pluuuuuuurkh! Man, hearing that on and on for what seems like six hours straight - it could probably send a Vhotirii Hypermonkey to sleep! Am I right Kreia? Exile: **uneasy silence** Kreia:...Cretin...!
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Post by Phoenix on Oct 21, 2007 18:02:52 GMT -5
XDXDXDXD! *Dies laughing.* That...was...PRICELESS!
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Post by Ambika on Oct 22, 2007 18:24:14 GMT -5
Vrook: I'm too sexy for my robes, I'm too sexy for my lightsaber.
Revan: We're here for the engine you stole from the Beks! Hand it over of end up dead like most of the rest of your gang! Vulkar: Oh well, you caught us out...normally what happens here is that when one of us steals something off the other, we have a game of Tiddly-Winks to determine whether we keep it or give it back...(Revan growls)...but considering it looks like you've decapitated our best Tiddly-Winks player...um...I suppose you wish to skip the formalities then? Carth: Phew, I suck at Tiddly-Winks!
Revan: *shocked* You bought me some flowers Canderous? Canderous: *hesitant* Um... Mission: *whispering* They're for Carth! Canderous: You're a dead little girl!
*Revan, Bastila, and Carth are walking through Leviathan when Darth Malak shows up...* Bastila: Darth Malak! *Suddenly, Carth is dressed in a police SWAT uniform with the initials R.P.D. on the front and back, he is also carrying a large rocket launcher and aiming at Malak* Carth: *coldly* Game over...*fires* [Cut to the rocket traveling at Malak, the screen freezes just before the rocket hits, then replays from two other angles, then the third shot shows the rocket colliding with Malak, causing him to explode into several fried pieces.] *Later, as everyone leaves in the Ebon Hawk, as they leave, the Leviathan explodes* Carth: That's it...Umbrella's going down!
*Zhar has decided to play a trick on Vrook* Zhar: Vrook, I didn't want to say this in front of Vandar, but those Jedi robes make you look like a girl. Vrook: Am I a pretty girl? Zhar: No. *Vrook runs out of the council chamber crying*
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Post by jedigirl on Dec 8, 2007 13:54:25 GMT -5
lol! that's hysterical! i like the first line.. ;D
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Post by jedigirl on Dec 9, 2007 17:33:09 GMT -5
Intro: Now that the ice cream speeder man is dead, Malak does not have a life and has even given up his daily beauty routines. He doesn't even want to be seen by Bastila, his previous girlfriend. Malak: My life is over, my life is over, my life is over.... HK: Malak, will you please open the door? Malak: My life is over, my live is over, my life is over.... HK: Malak, OPEN THE DOOR! Malak: My life is over....No, HK. I'm not in the mood. My life is over, my life is over, my life is over..... HK: Malak, shut up and open the door or your life WILL be over! Malak: My life is over my life is.... *There is a faint ringing in the distance* HK: 3 Malak: could it be? HK: 2! Malak: I'm coming! *Malak then jumps out of his bed and rushes out to meet..... the new ice cream speeder man! HK: That was quite a change of pace... an unexpected change of pace... Malak: You still make rounds here! Bless your little soul, ice cream man. Wait a minute... I know you! Revan: Yes, regrettably. Malak: YOU'RE the new ice cream man? Revan: Yes, it pays better then you pay me. Carth: SURRENDER BAS..... *Carth trails off, seeing that Bastila is not with Malak.* HK: Happy Statement: It is my duty to tell you that Bastila has committed suicide seeing that Malak no longer would talk to her! Carth and Malak: NOOOO! It's all your fault! *they then engage in a battle in which Malak obviously wins because he's a jedi.* In all this confusion, HK sneaks away to where he is keeping Bastila prisoner, and Atton and Kreia and the Exile are all on the Ebon Hawk having a very...peaceful...discussion. Atton: Where did HK go NOW? Kreia: He went away. Atton: Why do you always have to do that? Act like you know SO MUCH MORE THAN ME! Kreia: Quite frankly, Atton, it is no act. It is just a trait that I, along with many others, happen to possess. Atton: Ha! I bet I could beat you at...um... well, let's see...ah ha! Pazaak! Kreia: We shall see...keep score please, melaree, (exile)... after many attempts, Kreia wins all pazaak matches. Atton: It's you and your jedi mind tricks! Kreia: Be that as it may, I still won, and you promised me you would give that ice cream speeder gift card. Atton: Yeah, yeah.... Exile: You guys are so weird. And the ice cream speeder already came and the new ice cream speeder man is revan! Atton and Kreia Gasp HK: Angry Statement: Gone! She's gone! Atton: Who's gone? HK: Hesitant Statement: Bastila. Atton: Who the heck is she? HK: Annoyed answer: No one you know. Now could you please get this thing into hyperspeed, meatbag? I'm in no mood to be pursued, captured, and tortured, and I'm sure you're not, either. Snap snap, I'm not in the mood to be waiting, either. Exile: What's gotten into you? HK: Annoyed Answer: NOTHING! I'm not in the mood for questions either. PRESS THE DANG BUTTON ALREADY! So Atton pressed the dang button and they escape being pursued, captured, and tortured.
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Post by Phoenix on Dec 9, 2007 17:38:00 GMT -5
Lmao. Nice, Jedigirl. ^^ ;D
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Post by jedigirl on Dec 9, 2007 17:43:04 GMT -5
thanx, i love writing those.. and ambika, yours are hysterical
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Post by jedigirl on Dec 11, 2007 20:55:21 GMT -5
Atton: Kreia! I've been looking ALLLL over for you.... *Atton stuffs a piece of paper in her hand and runs out of the room* Kreia: What an odd ball..... *Kreia opens the folded note and reads..... Kreia, Courascant's Gray Manaan's Blue Tatooine's Hot Just like you! Love, Atton XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO P.S. Will you PLEASE marry me, hot stuff? Kreia: Swell! I've always loved weddings! Oh Aaaaaatoooon...... *At Malaks Place* Revan: Malak....we've got mail. Malak: Really? I hope it's not those stupid people writing in for advice...."Malak, how would you suggest I make my first steps toward taking over the universe?" It's SOOO annoying! Revan: yeah, seeing as you've never actually taken over the universe. Malak: Oh Revan, Revan: But you're well on your way! Oh evil one... Malak: Anyway, what was in the mail? Revan: Oh, just the bills...you know how expensive it is to be super villains these days... Malak: Anything else? Revan: A Postcard from your sister, Sally, and....Oh my gosh... Malak: What? I don't have all day here! I hardly got ANY sleep last night, not to mention HK didn't show up for my daily beauty routines.... Revan: I thought you got over that, Malak! Malak: Just tell me what was in the dang mail! Revan: Oh yeah. Just a wedding invitation. Malak: From whom? Revan: Did you just use correct grammar? You haven't used correct grammar since about 3 years ago... Malak: Revan, you're stalling. Quit stalling and tell me who it's from! Revan: *murmurs* Kreia and Atton are getting married.... *murmurs* Malak: You mean.... Revan: Well, yeah. Malak: Uck! Well, I have so much to do. Get my tux dry cleaned, my head waxed... *Back at the Kreia and Atton scene* Kreia: Atton! The answer is yes! Yes! Atton: Great! Let's settle down and have lot's of little jedi babies! Kreia: Anything to please you, you little chunk. Atton: Aw, Shucks, stop making me blush... Kreia: Let's send out the invitations! Atton: Anything you say, babe. Kreia: You really think I'm a babe? Atton: I think you're a HOT babe! Kreia: Wow... wow, really? I gotta.. this is news... do you have connections to Galaxy Weekly? Atton: Why, yes. Yes I do. *spending more than an hour together, they soon find themselves making out. Bao-Dur walks in on them* Bao-dur: What are you guys doing? *They are to deep in make out mode that they don't hear him.* Bao-dur: whatever dude, but i'm still waiting for you to tie those bows around my horns... *boa-dur taps foot* Bao-dur: Oh whatever...HK? Whaddya say?...
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Post by Rain on Jan 29, 2008 17:56:51 GMT -5
These are soooooooo funny ;D I misunderstood at first and was going to say they would never appear in a dogfood add! lol Ill try and think up one of these soon and ill post it when I do
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Post by jedigirl on Feb 10, 2008 14:52:39 GMT -5
lol good luck rain. Some more of my genius work! (lol it's not that good) Revan: Malak, this ship needs to be re-fueled! If we don't land and get fuel soon, we're all going to die! Malak: I haven't had my morning coffee yet! Ugh, excuse me, I believe I see some planet in the distance. *Malak blows up that planet* *Revan stares at him with wide eyes* Revan: YOU IDIOT! YOU JUST BLEW UP OUR LAST CHANCE OF SURVIVAL! Malak: Well, I HAVEN'T HAD MY MORNING COFFEE YET! Revan: You could've gotten some at Starbucks at the space port had we LANDED! Malak: St-st-starbucks? Revan: Yes, your favorite kind! With cream and sugar. But now that it's destroyed, we're all going to die, and thanks to you, you and the whole ship crew will NEVER taste coffee AGAIN! Malak: Oh no! What have I done? The ship needs to re-fuel on gas, I need to re-fuel on coffee..... Revan: Well, there is a small planet just over there. If the ship doesn't run out on gas right now MAYBE we could make it. Malak: Does it have starbucks? Revan: Processing.....Processing..... yes, indeed it does. And it even has cream and sugar! Malak: Does it have.....cinnimon sticks? Revan: Yes it does. Malak: LET'S GO! *The ship miraculously makes it to the station and they dock, get fuel, buy coffee, and take off.* Malak: That was close! They said they were almost out of cream! Luckily, I threatened them with my trusty lightsaber and they got some prepared for me! Revan: Yeah whatever let's go. HK! Where is that blasted droid? HK: Irritated Statment: I'm right here, master. What do you require? Revan: We're almost to Kreia and Atton's wedding and Malak still needs his head waxed. And he needs you to pay the bills, do the taxes.... HK: Irritated Statement: Fine. But I expect to get payed for this! Revan: Ha ha, very funny HK. Just do you're task. HK: Exasperated Statement: AHHHHH! I'm getting paid or you're NEVER going to make it to they're wedding alive! *HK points his blaster at Revan.* Revan: Okay okay fine fine.... here, all in advance.... HK: Thank-you. * HK walks away and doesn't do anything. Revan: H-HK? HK: Happy Statement: LA LA LA I CAN'T HEAR YOU LA LA LA LA LA! Revan: Malak, we've got a situation. HK won't do anything. He took the credits and ran. Malak: Oh whatever, to heck with that loser, I never liked him that much anyway. I'll just do those tasks myself. Revan: But......but.....Malak, are you serious? Malak: Yes! I can do this, I've done it before! Revan: Malak, you barely made it through the tutorial and then HK had to take over. Malak: Are you testing me, Revan? Revan: *sigh* fine, go ahead and send in our taxes late, again. Malak: Okay. Now, go away, Revan, you're ruining my brain waves. *Malak takes a sip of his starbucks coffee and starts doing his taxes. He sends them in late and misses the wedding, which was a disaster because Kreia's parents showed up and didn't allow the wedding to happen. Atton ended up black and blue and Kreia was hearbroken.*
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Post by Rain on Mar 28, 2008 8:27:45 GMT -5
lol Kreia heartbroken... Now that would truly never happen Good work!
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